Single Desi: Alone in an Ocean of PeopleBy Lavina Melwani • Jun 11th, 2012 • Category: 24/7 Talk is Cheap - The Blog
Single Desi Steps Out….
I’m more than just an option….
Refuse to be forgotten…
How many of us like to go to social events? Let’s be honest. A bunch of strangers standing around, some have their friends, some don’t; some are nice; some are not. Finding your place at a bunch of single networking events can be daunting, especially if you are on the introverted side.
However, you don’t want to be left out of this generation’s game, so you decide to go and see how far you get. You take your chance, lay your heart on the line and see what happens. Sounds easy enough right? Wrong! You know you can come out disappointed; however you admire that extrovert over there, who always has her social calendar filled. Why can’t you be like that, you ask yourself?
Well maybe you should take a few pointers from that extrovert, without losing yourself in the process. Sound easy enough? I always stress how important it is to be you, so I will never change that hard and fast rule of life. However taking tips from an extrovert on how they deal with this challenging social scene can maybe help us enjoy ourselves a little more? I don’t know, you try it and tell me what you think.
10 Tips for Desi Singles to Succeed Socially
1. Plan your super fabulous outfit: Appearances matter. You want to look hot. You want to show everyone that you have it going on. It is more important to look put together than to wear clothes that don’t work for you. Are you comfortable? Can you stand with those Chanel boots? Is your hip scarf more of a distraction? These are all things that you may want to think about before you run and out and mingle the scene.
2. Volunteer: Volunteering helps you build skills and get to know people at the same time. It also is an easy way for an introvert to connect when they aren’t sure what to say to people. They can appear busy with the task on hand.
3. Take a moment: Don’t just delve in. Process where you are; who is at the event; who you want to talk to and who you want to avoid. Check yourself out in the mirror and take a deep breath. Relax and try and enjoy what is to come.
4. Talk to staff: Don’t just talk to people who are running the event; talk to waiters, waitresses, bartenders; coat room attendees. Be sure to tip well.
5. Make eye contact: Making eye contact with people shows other people that you are approachable and confident. Show people you are here to mingle and enjoy the night. Always be sure to maintain a pleasant expression.
6. Focus on Others: I totally understand. It is hard to talk to people you don’t know because you don’t know what to talk about. Here are some sample openers (What kind of work do you do? What do you like best about your company? What interesting projects are you working on? How was your day? Do you have plans for the weekend? Do you want to check out the appetizers with me?
7. Focus on You: I get it, you are an introvert, you are guarded and you don’t want people to know your business. However, people do get uneasy with one sided conversations. Decide in advance what you feel comfortable sharing with others.
8. Schedule recharge breaks: Socialization can become sensory overload for the introvert. That is okay. Take a short breather. Go for a walk around the block. Hide out in the bathroom. Understand your limitations.
9. Ending a conversation gracefully: Here are some conversation endings- It was nice meeting you. May I have your card? I am going to make a phone call. I look forward to following up.
10. Follow up: Send a short email referencing what you talked about and say you would like to keep in touch. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
Enjoy yourselves! And don’t take it personally! It happens to all of us!
(Monica Marwah is a 30 something single school psychologist who enjoys living life to the fullest. She is taking her experience and showing others how to believe in themselves and love themselves completely. After years of dating and meeting people, she has come into her own. Spirituality has been a foundation for self improvement for her and she is hoping to encourage people to embark upon a spiritual journey at this age.)