Love 101 – Read All About it
“Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.” – Rainer Maria Rilke
I am a big fan of love stories and romantic movies, the mushier, the better but with a happy ending. ‘Pride and Prejudice’ by Jane Austen occupies the most revered spot on my bookshelf, this romantic novel is a splendid blend of romance and drama, and it has a happy ending.
Another favorite of mine, is ‘Wuthering Heights’ by Emily Bronte, an intense love-hate story but with a tragic end. I know it doesn’t fall into the happy ending genre, but not everything in life is perfect and there are a few greys in this black and white world of relationships. ‘Little Women’ by Louisa May Alcott is a personal treasure as well as ‘Sense and Sensibility’ by Jane Austen.
Real life is bad enough; let the reel-life be blissful for the couples in love, right? All die-hard romantics, like me, will agree with my philosophy. I am not saying that all romantic movies have happy endings but I like the ones which do, some with tragic endings also have a special place in my heart, but they make me cry buckets of tears. My absolute favorite romantic movies are Jerry McGuire, Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride, An Affair to Remember, Love Story, Casablanca, Ghost, Gone with the wind, and the list goes on…
Another favorite movie of mine is the romantic comedy ‘Suburban Girl’. Brett Eisenberg, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, describes her feelings for Archie Knox (Alec Baldwin), to her friend, “I know, it’s nuts, but when I’m with him I feel like a better version of myself… You know? Funnier, smarter, sexier.” Love does that to people; it ties people up in emotional knots and makes them more aware of their partner’s positive qualities and charms.
A classic love story is Falling in Love with Robert De Nero and Meryl Streep. In one scene Meryl Streep is talking to her best friend about Robert De Nero, “Molly Gilmore:[talking to Isabelle about Frank]No, I think about him every day. Last thought before I fall asleep and first thought when I wake up. I talk to myself all day about him, even when I’m talking to somebody else, even when I’m talking to you now I’m talking to myself about him.” What is this malady called Love? Why does it strike us, and leave us floundering, gasping for breath?
“Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it…It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more.” – Erica Jong
Blogging About Love
I have a lot of friends in the writing community and ‘Love’ seems to be the favorite topic of a majority of blogs. It features in a lot of posts, including mine. In-fact, I am referred to as a’ romantic’ by my writer friends, and it pleases me no end. I am in love with love. What is not to love here, I love life, I love writing, I love reading, I love music, dancing, my family, my friends, and love is everywhere. So what is this thing called ‘love’?
Definition of love: To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
Love – Not a Catalog Pick
A feeling of intense desire, mind you, towards a person. This person is not someone you pick out of a catalog, based on availability, proximity of residence and guarantee of reciprocal love. Your soul recognizes its mate; your heart accepts him into its fold, unconditionally. Without asking if he loves you back, or how long will he stay in your life? Love happens, it just does, no questions asked. You fall in love and not schedule an appointment, don’t plan days in advance to meet and take the plunge. You happen to enter an elevator or walk into a roomful of strangers and you see him. One look is all it takes; you are never, the same again.
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope.” – Maya Angelou
Love gives your life a new meaning, a fresh prospective to look at events with, it makes your heart sing with joy and sob with unbearable pain too. But would you rather have a monotonous, uneventful, boring and predictable existence or feel the emotions coursing through your veins, throbbing in your pulse and coloring your life with the hues of the rainbow of love?
You can be in love with a number of people but you only ever fall in love with ‘The One’, he who holds the key to your heart, the one who hears the whispers of your soul or whose heart communicates with yours, silently, eternally and beyond. Sometimes, he is unaware of his feelings, and goes about his life, unconcerned about your attachment, wants and desires. So what do you do, stop loving him? No, that is not love, that’s a business deal: “I will care for you only if you love me too”, it doesn’t work that way. You felt the connection, recognized your soul-mate, you be true to your feelings and continue loving him, don’t expect him to reciprocate just because you want him too.
The Enigma of Love
“Love tainted with selfishness is ‘attachment;’ it is only about you. You expect a return for your affection, tangible or intangible. You make demands on people and bind them. You feel insecure, vulnerable and threatened. Your expectations never seem to be met with. The relationship thus becomes conflict-ridden. In the end, it breaks down and you lose the person.” – Jaya Row
A very dear friend of mine is going through a turbulent period in her life and has found her true love. But he lives in another city, and they are unable to meet as often as they would have liked to. She often wonders about her dependence on him and chides herself, Why couldn’t she have chosen someone who was easily accessible. Someone with fewer issues in life, Life would have been so much easier for both of them. It wasn’t as if she was looking for someone but when they met, something happened.
Time stood still for her, life came full circle, and she came alive after a long time. Even she was not aware of her need for him until then, she knew that her life lacked a purpose, but what was it, she didn’t know. Then it dawned on her that she was meant to be with him, they were destined to meet and fall in love. She is consumed by his thoughts day and night, cannot get him out of her head and heart. She reaches out to him constantly, can’t help herself. This angers him, and she doesn’t understand, why?
I read this interesting article in today’s paper, about conflict and love, by Jaya R0w.
“Are you in conflict with the people you love most? Do you experience incredible highs followed by invariable lows in your relationships? Have the days of wine and roses become days of whine and neuroses? Love others for what they are, the good as well as the bad. Understand that people behave according to their nature.”
When she says, ‘You complete me’, you do. But what she means is that you and she are two wholes, and together you complement each other. What she doesn’t mean is that she is a cripple in need of a crutch. Heaven forbid if she ever became one emotional cripple; she’d rather die than admit to it. She loves you too much to put you in such a position. You complete her fantasy, you are her knight in shining armor, her Sir Galahad, and you are the culmination of all her dreams, the hidden face of the masked rider on a horse in her dreams.
Love makes you do silly things, and you crossover to the wild side. You dare to be different, take more risks. You say and do things, you’d never normally do. Love makes you bold and adventurous to the core. Admire her courage and depth of vulnerability; she has bared her soul to you without knowing how you feel about her. This is the extent of her commitment to you.
“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.” – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
If you have someone in your life who makes you smile without any reason, makes you happy just being with them, makes your heart beat faster just thinking about them, don’t let them leave. Kiss them senseless, hug them breathless, love them endlessly and adore them wholeheartedly.
Do whatever you have to to make them stay with you, they are your reason for getting out of bed in the morning. If you are apart, don’t fret, you never know when life will give you a pleasant surprise. Keep your eyes and your heart open to new experiences and opportunities. If he is meant for you, he will come back to you, no matter what. Keep hope alive in your heart, have faith in the universe.
Lucks aka Sulekha
What do you all think? Do share your thoughts with us.