Relationships & the Single Desi – Owning Yourself



 The Single Desi –  A Mantra for Empowerment


I belong to me

I don’t belong to you

My heart is my possession

I’ll be my own reflection

I’ll give all my love but I am not giving all my soul

“I belong to me”- Jessica Simpson


Single Desi - Photo - Marilena Benini

Single Desi – Photo – Marilena Benini


The Crazy 20’s

Love, relationships, giddy, happiness, possession, excitement, warmth, hormones are a few terms I think about when I think about early 20’s and the thrill of relationships.

How many of us remember craving that special someone at bars, happy hours, classes in school, internships, dinner with friends, family functions…how many of us have felt that social loneliness?  The loneliness we feel when we go out with our friends, meet a bunch of strangers, act like we are having a great time, come home and wait to do it all over again (only we aren’t really enjoying because we aren’t meeting people we share chemistry with).

How many of us remember the thrill of getting someone?  Remember calling our friends excitedly and telling them about the events that led up to your initial date?  Afterwards, if you are really destined for a relationship, how many of us remember the mutual feelings when the two of you decide to take it forward and see where things go?

Sounds exciting?  It was exciting!  The hormones, the thought of wedding, bridal showers, baby showers and so the cycle of life repeats itself.  Isn’t that what we all want?  I mean that is what the last generation had and things worked out, right?  Tolerance was at an all time high, sacrifice for our kids, great colleges and high hopes for the future.  That is what we want , right?  That is where we came from. Isn’t that how life is supposed to shape up?


Finding Yourself at 30

Welcome to your 30’s!  You know yourself better.  You have desires and aspirations for yourself.   You have grown and evolved independently in a separate culture away from your parents.  You have lived independently for a number of years.  Life today  isn’t what it was yesterday.  Is sacrifice really what you want when you are just getting started in life?

You know who you are and where you fit in into life.  It is very important for you to keep up with your own interests and travel and see the world.  You are finally settled in your career.   You are a blend of east and west or now you are predominately apart of the western culture (depending on how you viewed life initially).  You finally know the generation better and you finally want to relax.

But let us not forget what that guy from your 20’s taught you about relationships.  He was so influential in shaping your ideas that you now feel better about being single and waiting for the right guy.   After going through the years of attachment, you finally come to realize that you don’t need anyone to complete you.

Owning Yourself  – C’est Magnifique!

Part of evolving and turning into the magnificent woman that you are is self empowerment, adapting to changing situations and understanding that no one can take care of your emotional needs, especially not in the way you can.  Owning yourself is an important concept in growing up.  20-something women don’t realize where they are headed, however, as a 30-something woman, you really have time to look back and reflect on yourself and your life.  You have fulfilled your goals and now you are more relaxed.

My advice for 20-something females is don’t get too emotionally charged.  I know the 20’s are really emotional, your feelings are raw; you are hormonal and everything has to happen now.  It doesn’t happen immediately, be patient and enjoy the things that are in you path.  Remember that God will place you around people that are good for you.  Keep up with your interests.  Don’t let someone tell you not to like something or do something.  Be proud of being diverse and open-minded.   If you work hard and stay true to yourself, God will put power into your hands.

My advice for 30-something females is keep having fun.  Travel and see the world as much as possible.  Get out and live.  Go out for long walks.  Be healthy.  For me, traveling to exotic beach locations is ideal, but you should do what you want to do and don’t worry too much.

I don’t know where you are headed as a 40-something female, but be proud that you get to do the things you want to do in life.  You are free.



Monica Marwah

Monica Marwah writes about single desi relationships in 'Sex and the Single Desi' on Lassi with Lavina

Monica Marwah


( Monica Marwah is a 30-something single school psychologist who enjoys living life to the fullest.  She is taking her experience and showing others how to believe in themselves and love themselves completely.  After years of dating and meeting people, she has come into her own.  Spirituality has been a foundation for self improvement for her and she is hoping to encourage people to embark upon a spiritual journey at this age.)

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Related Posts:

Straight Talk from the Single Desi

Desi Dilemma- Pros and cons of the Single Life
The Single Desi Conquering the Inner Bully
Single Desi – Mid 30′s – What Now


About Author

is a single desi who writes about the experience in her blog posts. You can connect on Twitter at lollipop77 or on LinkedIn and Facebook with Monica Marwah.

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