Single Desi Relationships – Play it Again, Sam!

Lassi with Lavina guest blog - Sex and the Single Desi is about South Asian Americans and relationships

It’s All About Relationships



Single Desi - Are 20's like the 30's?

Single DesiPhoto Credit: jαγ △ via Compfight cc

Sometimes I have to wonder….Are your 30’s an encore of your 20’s?


It will be almost 20 years since I left an Indian household and became an individual entity.  Wow, so much growth has taken place.  I have now turned into myself.  I run my own household, follow my own rules, pay my own bills and travel to the destinations of my choice.  Whenever I talk to people of my parents’  generation they always point out that they went from their parents’ household to their husband’s household.  They didn’t get the freedom that we seem to have in the middle of life.

Marriage seems to be postponed and people seem to be more interested in taking care of themselves as opposed to others.  The generation X-ers are just now settling themselves in (30 something) and the generation – ers (20 something) are going through what we 30-something’s went through.  They are moving from job to job in search of something meaningful and fulfilling.  All in all, people just are trying to figure out where they fit in life and what they like to do.

Who Shapes the Trends of Society?

It is no secret that single people don’t work hard to get out of their single status.  That is why there are so many single people roaming the earth.  Environment and cultural standards are what shape the universe and people.  More and more people are educated and know themselves better.  People tend to depend on themselves.  Tolerance for other people and their habits is dwindling.

How does one feel about the new way of life?  Do you want to eventually get married or do you want to keep your single status?  After being a part of the bar scene for 15+ years, do you think you want to find someone at the bar or have you lost your faith in the bar scene.  Have you spent many years on the computer trying to meet the one, only to realize that you are the one?   I know for myself, I don’t want to find someone at the bar, at a meet-up event or on the computer.  The best friends are the ones that you make in real life.  The others ones don’t matter in life and are just a waste of time.

Wrong Events or Wrong People?

It would be interesting what your point of view is.  I often see the same women attending the bar scene and going years on end without having anything to show for it.  Do you know why?  Are they simply attending the wrong events year after year or are they consistently meeting the wrong people?  I am a firm believer that if you are serious about finding someone, you have to knock on the right door with the right people, otherwise you’ll end up spending midnight on Saturday with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. (That is what will be giving you that ooh la la feeling at the end of your long, hectic workweek).

One should ask themselves what kind of person they are looking for and then try and meet those kinds of people.  For example, I am looking for someone educated, smart, deep, intimate, good looking and caring.  I should only spend my time searching for that kind of person.  Also, I would like someone who is easy to talk to.   I am really just looking for someone who gets me.  What about you?  What kind of person are you looking for?


Monica Marwah

Monica Marwah writes about single desi relationships in 'Sex and the Single Desi' on Lassi with Lavina

Monica Marwah

Related Articles

Is No kids ever a relationship tiebreaker?
Relationships – Owning Yourself
What I learned as a Single Desi Born in the USA


About Author

is a single desi who writes about the experience in her blog posts. You can connect on Twitter at lollipop77 or on LinkedIn and Facebook with Monica Marwah.

Comments are closed.