Wanted: A Surrogate MotherBy Kriti Mukherjee • Jul 9th, 2012 • Category: 24/7 Talk is Cheap - The Blog
Looking for a Surrogate
Remember when I shared my “Tale of a surrogate Mother” in Chatty Divas? What I remember most about that experience is the overwhelming response we got on the subject – questions, suggestions, queries, just plain comments. It was too much for a simple chatty diva like me.
Well, I have another story to share on the same lines this time – the story of Janki and Subroto. Janki’s biological sister Ronda is my soul sister. Ronda and I have been through tumultuous times together and have managed to pull each other out scratch-free every time. I hence have a firsthand experience of the suffering in this episode.
Ronda always did the right thing at the right time. Like everything else in life she also got married to the right guy at the right time, moved to the US, excelled in the right degrees and got an enviable job which couldn’t stop giving her the right promotions at the most ideal times.
“The Indian Dilemma”
So there you go – so far so good. When the time came to have a baby, however, she was caught in a sort of “Indian dilemma” if you will! Janki lagged behind – first with liking someone enough to get married to him and then being caught with mammoth problems in conceiving.
Janki was nothing but elated for Ronda but the latter felt unreasonable guilt for having everything the way it should be. She postponed her plans for having a baby till she saw a glimmer of hope for her sister. Janki being the elder should ideally be a mother first, she thought.
In that period, Janki went through everything that modern science could offer her. However, the hopes grew dimmer with every passing day. An entire year passed till one day Ronda got pregnant. She brought an angel to this world in nine months but the burden of her sister’s situation would not allow her to celebrate whole-heartedly.
The Search for a Surrogate
Her daughter was about a year old when she even made a trip to India to donate her egg for her sister. Subroto’s sperm would be tested for their potentiality and then combined with Ronda’s eggs to conceive a baby. However, even that didn’t work out due to reasons varying from the inefficiency of the doctor in question to Subroto’s health.
Unfortunately, by the time the results came it was time for Ronda to return to her family in the US. There was no window for them to try again! At this point even I offered to donate my eggs and I meant it. The family agreed to keep me in reserve till some other options were tried out.
Ronda gave me a list of doctors and hospitals to call in India. I would interrogate them about their capabilities while explaining the situation. I would short-list promising medical experts and then pass on the list to the family. I got on it with a vengeance and short-listed only three from a list of twelve possibilities.
Thanks Surrogate – the birth of a baby
Janki’s parents, who are residents of Calcutta, came to Delhi to meet the short-listed doctors and were pleasantly surprised at their confidence. They finally went with the doctor who showed the maximum promise. An egg donor was chosen, Subroto’s sperm was collected and another surrogate was called upon. With the help of these three people Janki was finally blessed with a son. He was a perfect cherub with flawless features, born out of many people and the answer to several fervent utterances to the Heavens above.
Once the baby was handed over to Janki and she finally had control over her overwhelming emotions, she handed him over to her mother and marched over to the doctor in question. She demanded to meet the surrogate. And she finally did – with bottles of Horlicks, baskets of fruit, flowers, sarees, and a heart heavy with blessing and gratitude. All this had to be translated to the surrogate in the only language she understood – Nepali. But I bet she wasn’t listening to Nepali – she focused on a more universal language – the language of the heart. The dampness of Janki’s eyes, the trembling touch of her hands, the rapid fluttering of her eyelashes, the licks on the dry lips – was language even necessary? The surrogate smiled and went her way.
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Kriti Mukherjee is a marketing consultant by profession. She says, "I like to think I am a happy person who can make a difference in people's lives. Absolutely love to travel and am nuts about my family. I write to hear my thoughts and to see what people have to say about them." She blogs at http://kriti-howaboutthis.blogspot.com/
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