Single Desi: Is It the End of Courtship?

Single Desi: What Happened to the Dating Culture?

Are Men Really From Mars & Are Women Really From Venus?

Mars:  Wanna go out sometime?

Venus:  Sure, I would love that!

Mars:  I’ll text you and we can see what happens.

Venus:  Just call me MAYBE?

Does that exchange sound familiar?  Are you single and stuck in the rut of modern technology?  Do you know where life is going when you meet people or do you just expect nothing?  I mean, are you really going to get married on something started on a casual text message?  What happened to phone calls or even the simple email?  Is being wooed too much to ask for nowadays?

Is there such a thing as dating culture anymore? I was reading an article in The New York Times called the End of Courtship, and I have to say, all of it does sound familiar in our culture.  According to the article The End of Courtship, dating culture has evolved to cycle of text messages, each one requiring analytical ability and deciphering codes.  Can you handle that?  Is this what you signed up for?

Instead of dinner and a movie, generation X and Y are getting confused with how to approach people.  Is this the GAME everyone is talking about? Don’t act too interested and then people will chase you. The only problem with that is everyone is now in on it and no one is willing to put themselves out for anyone else.  Therefore, who is now doing the chasing?

The new date is hanging out, planning an event and have everyone come.  Look for people who may be interested and if they are not interested, move on to the next event.  Hey at least you are having fun doing what you like to do and no one is holding you back,  right?

A New Cultural Phenomenon

For those of you who need proof on this new cultural phenomenon, look at shows like Friends and Sex and the City.  Friends had 10 years on the air and Sex and the City had 6.  These beautiful, independent fashionistas lived their lives the way we live our lives.  They hung out, did things they loved to do, attended fashion shows, sporting events, concerts, and let’s not forget the endless cycle of date after date.  At the series close for both shows, the main characters settled for someone they had known throughout their lives instead of someone they had aimed to meet throughout the series.

These kinds of things tell us a lot.  Are we waiting for the thrill of the unknown and a fantasy of different expectations or do we just want to settle into comfort, something we have always had in the past?  Only you know what works best for you.

Are Generation X and Y shying away from commitment? Is it just too hard for people to go in the same direction as someone?  What is everyone looking for?  When interviewing graduating students, many students have admitted that they don’t know the first thing about a traditional date.  Who teaches us how to date?  Is it our parents? Our friends? Or our life experiences?  Are we so much invested in education and building cultural alliances that we forget the basic emotional need?  Does this new culture forget that in order to get married, one needs to have skills to make things work?  What do you think?

Dating requires a lot of courage, strategic planning and investment in ego.  One line text messages are so random and unemotional that the person doesn’t feel discouraged if they don’t get responses from the other person.

How do finances play into any of this?  Women of today are supporting themselves and giving themselves luxurious items.  Women are no longer dependent on a man to give them things.  More and more men are more reluctant to buy jewelry for women because they are scared at what that could mean – maybe a lifelong commitment?

Regardless of how the GAME is played, always remember that different stages of life can offer different opportunities and to never lose faith on what is up ahead

xoxo

Monica Marwah

(Monica Marwah is a 30-something single school psychologist who enjoys living life to the fullest.  She is taking her experience and showing others how to believe in themselves and love themselves completely.  After years of dating and meeting people, she has come into her own.  Spirituality has been a foundation for self improvement for her and she is hoping to encourage people to embark upon a spiritual journey at this age.)

Enjoyed the post? Sign up for updates via email  and also visit Lassi with Lavina on Facebook!  https://www.facebook.com/LassiwithLavina

Related Posts:

Straight Talk from the Single Desi
Desi Dilemma- Pros and cons of the Single Life
The Single Desi Conquering the Inner Bully
Single Desi – Mid 30′s – What Now