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    You are at:Home»The Buzz»Lassi Lite – You’ve Got E-Mail!

    Lassi Lite – You’ve Got E-Mail!

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    By Lavina Melwani on May 30, 2011 The Buzz
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    Lassi Lite is short humor pieces on Lassi with Lavina
    Lassi Lite - frothy, inconsequential, silly, soon forgotten!

    Email – Wise and All-Knowing

    Gone are the days when the mailman knocked and you received a bundle of personal letters, cards and photos through the US postal service – now it’s mostly bills, supermarket circulars and junk mail. So what you really look forward to now is your morning cuppa and email. At least that’s  generally full of good stuff – news, e-vites, e-letters, and work related emails.

    Occasionally the spam-catcher is dozing and random Nigerian scam letters sneak in with their high drama and hilarity of unclaimed riches, secret bank accounts, deposed leaders, blood diamonds and a tantalizing promise of untold wealth – if  only we would part with our credit card information or some cash. This makes for pretty mirthful reading.

    Artwork by Bellah
    (Artwork by Bellah)

    Then there are all the unsolicited forwards from friends and acquaintances – outrageous and unwarranted medical advice, corny jokes and gags, sentimental quotations and worse, lengthy videos full of roses, birds, cooing babies and more. And don’t forget the do-gooder messages about friendship, motherhood, and womanhood which have to be passed on to five or ten acquaintances to keep the chain going.

    Delete, delete, delete.

    E-Prediction:  You will be Rich!

    Sometimes, however,  you get a forward which is almost enjoyable. Such as this one,  titled Money Bags, which I got by e-mail today. It reads:

    “This year, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens once every 823 years. This is called Money Bags. So, forward this to your friends and money will arrive within 4 days. Based on Chinese Feng Shui. The one who does not forward this will be without money.

    This year we’re going to experience four unusual dates. 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11 and that’s not all…

    Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born – now add the age you will be this year, the results will be 111 for everyone in whole world. This is the Year of the Money!!!

    The proverb goes that if you send this to eight good friends, money will appear in next four days as it is explained in Chinese FENG SHUI. ”

    Well, just consulted a calendar – there are  indeed 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays in July – and all those 1111’s look kind of high-achievers,  standing first in life’s race.  And I just tried the birthday puzzle – the answer is indeed 111! How does all that make you rich though?

    Oh, what the heck – you have to be in it to win it – so I’m forwarding this not to just eight people but to ALL of you – and you can thank me when the money materializes in the next four days,  as explained in Chinese FENG SHUI!

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    Lavina Melwani
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    Lavina Melwani is a New York-based journalist who writes for several international publications. Twitter@lavinamelwani & @lassiwithlavina Sign up for the free newsletter to get your dose of Lassi!

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    Lassi with Lavina is a dhaba-style offering of life and the arts through the prism of India. It shares the celebrations and concerns of the global Indian woman. Supported by the Knight Foundation for Journalism, it brings stories from New York to New Delhi to readers globally. About Lassi with Lavina

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