What Steve Jobs Taught Me About Death & Dying

Final Destination…

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

~Steve Jobs

I didn’t die, I don’t believe it, how did this happen? June 24^th 2010 was to be my death day. My astrologer had predicted a gruesome death by road accident for me on this fateful day. I was supposed to die, why didn’t I?

2010 started on a heartbreaking note for me, with me losing my darling dad on 8^th January, my birthday. Happy birthday to me, never again on this unlucky day. My dad breathed his last in the evening, when I cutting my birthday cake and celebrating with my friends at the Mall. I got a call from home informing me that dad was no more and all I could hear was a roaring in my ears, I couldn’t understand what the voice at the other end of the phone line was saying, so I started screaming, endlessly.

People stopped in their tracks and watched me writhing on the floor. Some were giving me puzzled looks while others, who could hear my screams about my dad leaving me and going away, were throwing pitying looks my way. It took me a long time to go into that establishment again and I still feel a sense of unease and impending doom, when I do go there. The first couple of times, I just sat outside the place and wept like a baby.

I was very close to him but strangely and surprisingly, I didn’t feel something was amiss. I couldn’t sense his breath leaving his body and couldn’t see his soul, standing over his still form. I was a fake, with no special powers and no soul connection with the most important man in my life.

Somewhere along the time between my birthday and his final rites ceremony, I lost my will to live. Our local astrologer was kind enough to provide me with my death date on request. It was to be a deadly road accident on 24^th June 2010. On 24^th Jan I was told that I had only five months to live and I was ecstatic. I didn’t want to go on after my dad’s passing away anyway.

I informed my family and even thought of making a will but as I didn’t have a penny to my name, I dropped the idea. I told them how much I loved them and that I will always be around, looking after them and will keep them safe.

I wanted to mend my bridges, make amends/peace with people I had differences with. I wanted to ask for forgiveness from people I had hurt and forgive those who had hurt me. Another important thing I wanted to do was to reconnect with my long lost friends.

I wanted to reach out to all those dear friends who had drifted off due to work or paucity of time. I wanted to tell them that I loved them and was sorry we had drifted off. I forgave so many near and dear ones, begged forgiveness from some, hugged and blessed all.

But for those five months, I didn’t regret doing anything I did. I enjoyed each and every moment, embraced every happy moment, cried at sad ones. I didn’t suppress any emotion, didn’t pretend. When I was happy, I sang, laughed and danced and when I was sad, I cried, a lot. I gave thanks to everything, the sun, the sky, the trees, air, water, etc etc. I was grateful to be alive and thankful to be able to enjoy life.

I was so happy then, knowing that I was going to die in five months time, it kept me true to my feelings and emotions. Because I didn’t have anything to lose, I lived freely and happily, without any guilt and regrets. I went to the amusement park and enjoyed riding on the most dangerous and thrilling rides. I didn’t fear a thing; nothing could happen before 24^th June, right?

Wrong!Nobody knows when something good or bad is going to happen to us, no one knows when they will die. So why do we die a bit every day, worrying about the silly inconsequential things. Let’s live life to the fullest, throw caution to the winds, be true to ourselves. Let us not harm others but live our lives on our own terms, let us not compromise ever.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

~Steve Jobs

Life is too short for regrets and guilt, embrace your friends, and accept them for what they are in totality. Forgive easily, forget gracefully, live dangerously, love passionately, and sleep dreamlessly. Life is beautiful; we make it ugly and scary with our fears and demons in our heads. We are so afraid of making a mistake, which will come back to haunt us in 15 years time, that we don’t act on our impulses, now.

But who knows whether we will be alive in five days let alone 15 years, why worry about something so far away in the future? Present is what is real, past is long gone, future has a long way to come. Trust the Universe to get you what you deserve now.

Live now in the moment, I am done dying every day, over with any more negativity and guilt. I am living life on my own terms now, will cross my bridges when I come to them.

I am happy and alive.  Are you?

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important

~ Steve Jobs

By Sulekha Rawat – also known as Lucks

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