What Do You Do? Nothing…
What do you do? This question has always elicited varying responses from me at different stages of my adult life. The first time I had been asked this question had been at my first official party at my husband’s workplace, nearly 25 years ago. It had been a welcome the new bride sort of thing – they had this tradition of welcoming new members’ families. I was thrilled to be the guest of honor.
Is housework considered 'work'? Photo by x-ray Delta One. My happiness knew no bounds when I was asked to pop open a bottle of champagne. Afterwards the getting to know each other at the party started and one elegant lady – a fashion designer – walked up to me and after introducing herself, asked me this million dollar question, “What do you do?”
I was a brand new wife, setting up house and learning to cook( I couldn’t cook to save my life ), and just getting my bearings in this alien world and this lady wanted to know what I did apart from all the above mentioned things!
I naively answered in the negative, “I don’t do anything.” Now why did I say this? Because of the misconception that women who don’t work out side of their homes, in actual offices, don’t do anything in society’s eyes. How wrong I was! Her demeanor underwent an apparent change right there in front of my disbelieving and confused eyes and she excused herself and walked away towards a young lady who had a job out of her home and who contributed to society.
I have wised up since that fateful evening and learned new ways of explaining what I do to ignorant people. The next time someone had inquired about my work status, I had proudly proclaimed to be a home maker. But this term had been milked dry by innovative ladies like me so the next best answer became, “I am a home manager.” This term too lost its charm pretty quickly and I was at a loss for words to describe my occupational tag.
It was at this juncture in my tumultuous life that I came in contact with a versatile woman. She had six kids and she was home schooling them. When someone asked her this age-old question, she answered without blinking her eyes, “I am a home engineer.” I was hooked; she was my inspiration and mentor.
I have officially adopted this title and am planning to put it on my business card, now that I have started a business of my own. I no longer dread this Frankenstein of a question, “What do you do?”, but welcome it so that I can explain my status as a home engineer.
But seriously, does it matter where you work? In an office or at home, work is work. Is bringing home a paycheck the only validation a woman needs to justify her contribution to society?
You decide…
Sulekha Rawat
Sulekha Rawat check out Sulekha’s new site: www.socialpotpourri.com
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14 Comments
Manisha, Thank god for mothers
We can learn a lot from them.
Alpana, thanks for visiting and commenting. We are changing the mind set of people slowly and steadily by our actions and words
Melissa, Some home engineers are just plain lazy and don’t do anything and some working women are superwomen and do a lot. Exceptions are everywhere and life is a roller coaster ride. Sharing a few ups and downs makes it more interesting. Doing things out of love is the best kind of work, hats off to our moms
Martha, Thanks for your comment on my article. Stay at home moms are undervalued, I am not against working women but am just sharing my thoughts and what I experienced. I have worked on and off and seen both sides of the coin
Belina, Thanks for your comment. Yes we do face these situations so often
Sulekha I am working but I always feel my mom has a tougher task at home. She is a better manager because earlier she had her own business as well. I cant understand why the so called educated and working woman have this disregard for graceful home makers.
Really as usual a nice read.
Love
Mani
Great one Sulekha…it really doesn’t matter where u are and what u do..God knows when the society will accept that women are “home makers”…
Oooo what if the answer is yes? I’d really be wondering where we place our values … but right at this time, it seems that more women are away from home to work and more men stay in the house.
I like the term ‘house engineer’
When I came back from abroad to start my life over again, I didn’t earn money for nearly two years. But I will always treasure my experiences back then ~ I was as productive as I am now.
I think the term ‘work’ has several connotations but we certainly wouldn’t limit that to the paychecks we receive monthly.
My mom, who’s also into house engineering, would always tell me ~ that there are a million things to do in the house that she does out of love. Nothing could ever compare to that.
So, CHEERS to you Sulekha
Thank you very much for this post.
Loved this article! There certainly should never be shame for the mom who chooses to stay at home. Raising children the right way is, and should be, a full-time job.
After working many, many years, I’m finally “at home”. More gets done here now than ever before and I still have time to write.
Blessings to you, Ms. Home Engineer!
Do I have to pay for using “home engineer”? You reflected the dilemma which people like you n me face every now n then, so well.
Kriti, You are so right
We do have this million dollar question to answer now, What don’t you do? Thanks for the lovely comment.
Sunil, Welcome to Chatty Divas and thank you for your wonderful comment. I think men are coming around finally and recognizing this fact.
Mitr – that really is a billion dollar question! Of course now you have 2 tumultuous tasks in life apart from just living life. What you and I have in front of me now is a glaring question even more difficult to answer – “what don’t you do?”. What say you?
Beautiful article. Don’t know why men never appreciate the love and sacrifices of our women. Truly an eye opener. Good read.