The Single Desi & the Power of Belief

Single Desi – The Power of Positive Thinking

“Mirror Mirror on the wall….
Who’s the sexiest of them all…?
Nevermind I am…
Every day I see myself I love me even more….it’s me I adore….
Bow down get on your knees…let us not forget, who owns the throne…”
-Christina Aguilera – “Vanity”

What makes a desi woman sexy nowadays?  Good question.  In my opinion a sexy desi women knows her mind, says what she feels and is not afraid to stand up for what she believes in.  Being single and fabulous can be exciting and enjoyable as long as you make the best of every moment given to you.  No apologies; no regrets…just you,  facing off against the world.  After college, desi women are blessed to be able to make their own choices at every step of the way.  Sure, life doesn’t go as planned, but at least you tried and you did what you wanted to do.  We have no control over who we meet or who drags us to a dark place but we will always survive because we are survivors.  We are our biggest supporters and our worst enemies tied up in one pretty package.

Single Desi – One of a Kind

There is no room for self defeat and negativity because it is us who have to rise when the going gets tough and the tough gets going.  Taking care of oneself is very important because without your spirit and beauty, you don’t have much to face off with.  You are one of a kind and you need to appreciate yourself and the gifts that have been bestowed upon you.

Throughout my life journey, I have learned a lot of invaluable lessons.  Never give up on your dreams, as no one knows you better than you and if you believe that you are someone special, then you are.  Don’t regret the past, as that is what taught you the lessons of the future. Peace can only be found within yourself; keep moving. Stop obsessing with what might have been and see where you go as possibilities are limitless. Roadblocks and obstacles may keep you from doing what you have to do.  However, don’t stop; remember that those who tell you, you can’t do something are only threatened by your power and uniqueness.

Single Desi – Unleashing Your Potential

Neil Strauss,  the author of ‘Everyone loves you when you’re dead’ has been studying people and psychology for decades.  Neil is an interviewer who spent many years interviewing the biggest stars for Rolling Stone and other magazines.  He learned invaluable life lessons that can be applied to common day people if they just listened and believed.

Neil noticed that musicians, who felt that they were destined to be famous, that being a celebrity was God’s plan for them, were more likely to get famous and stay there.  On the other hand, musicians who felt that they got lucky or didn’t deserve to be there any more than other talented (but lesser known musicians) tended to fall out of the limelight pretty quickly.

Then Neil looked at other statistics in different areas of life from sports to survival-and discovered similar patterns.  Liver transplant patients were three times more likely to live if they sought God’s help and intervention.  And disaster victims in survival situations who prayed were more likely to live than those who didn’t.

Note that this observation has nothing to do with one’s religion or morality. (For celebrities, it is more about narcissism than piety anyway).  It is about belief and power of positive thinking.
Success comes from acting out of confidence, conviction, commitment and deservedness, no matter what critics, haters, and competitors are saying and thinking -with no fear of failure (and with no problem bouncing back undiscouraged,  if one doesn’t succeed at first.

Conversely, walking down the path to your goals with fear, doubt and uncertainty as your traveling companion is a sure way to slow down –  if not completely bring to a halt your journey.  Even when successful, having a feeling of undeservedness when you reach your goal will ultimately lead to self sabotage.

The more successful you get, the faster, louder and more savage the criticism becomes.  To deal with the psychological burden of becoming a household name and the attacks that come with it, it helps to become thick-skinned.  It helps even more to have a divine mission and to feel that when everyone else seems to be against you, God is walking at your side.

So keep in mind, whether you are searching for that perfect soul mate,  looking for that high paying job, looking to lose 50 pounds, looking for that amazing group of friends to hang out with, etc, etc…  If you don’t absolutely feel that you deserve the best that life has to offer…well then, you have a lot of work to do this year.

Thanks Neil, for your wonderful words of encouragement.

When you believe that you are strong, sexy and beautiful women, then you exude sexual confidence like no other.  If you believe that you are an intellect who knows your job well, then you will be very successful with whatever chosen path you are pursuing.  Same thing can be applied to weight loss; if you absolutely feel that it is God’s plan for you to lose 50 pounds, and then you will.  Llife can be pretty challenging but never lose focus of your goals, have faith and eventually you will get there.

xoxo
Monica Marwah

(Monica Marwah is a 30-something school psychologist  in Philadelphia.  After wandering the singles scene for years, she learned invaluable lessons on life, dating and relationships.  Now comfortably living life in her 30’s, she is sharing her own experiences on what it is like to break away from the traditional desi trend and live a life of your own. )

Related Posts:

The Failproof Desi Guide to Relationships
Desi Relationships – Heartbreak Hotel
Desi Girl’s Guide to Living Single and Loving It
Is Living in Sin the New Desi Thing?

What do you think of desi relationships?